Mind Mapping

            

             Tonight I attended my first Paint Nite with some friends and had an amazing time. This night was much needed and rejuvenated me for my long Friday ahead in the classroom with the kids that keep me coming back for more each day through all the craziness that at times can occur in a classroom… correction, craziness that is ALWAYS happening in a classroom.
            In the last week I have started a reflective process that has been fabulous, straining, and at times painful for me to go through but I know in the end this will be one of the most rewarding, freeing, and rejuvenating experiences that I have had in a long time. Last Saturday I spent most of my day alone, in silence or with soft music.  I had a mission in doing this. I started to write out my story through mind mapping each step I can recall and each emotion I can remember. Through this mind map I have started crafting a paper filled with the many things I feel I need to cover when speaking to others about depression, anxiety, and my life journey. It has been a long process. While I have a lot written I feel like there is so much being left unsaid, so many holes that someone new to the experience or some one on the outside looking in would miss. I know that there is no way to encompass all of my journey or everything about depression and anxiety into a mind map or paper. It can never be summarized or shared verbatim to the experience at hand. So I am learning to work with the things I can share and capitalize on my opportunities to share the knowledge I do have about my journey and experience. 

            In June I had finally decided to share my story here on the blog about my depression and anxiety disorder. It took me many months to make that decision and when I finally did it was received with such love, care, and openness from those around me. I was taken back by the amount of people that reached out to me sharing their stories, their love, and their support in my journey.  Through all of this I was given the opportunity to share my story live and in person. I spent a large amount of time with God and the opinions of those around me to decide if this was a good choice for me. It took me a few days to decide whether I was ready to do this or not but in July I decided it was time. There is never a better time, if I was going to do it it was going to be now. So in preparation I have been gathering all of my thoughts and preparing for my 2 amazing opportunities to share my story and bring awareness to depression, anxiety, and the stigmas that many people receive. I am overjoyed that I have been given this opportunity and look forward to the people I will meet through this journey and through Gods amazing plan for me.
            Through all of this fantastic reflection and time to myself I have also had moments of 'forgetfulness' in taking care of myself. Finding balance in sharing my story to help others and taking care of myself is a huge goal that I have for myself but that may take some practice and adjustments. Tonight getting time away from school, teaching, and preparing my story was a refreshing and rejuvenating experience. Taking time for myself is key in this journey of hope and grace. 
            I will be posting more in the coming weeks about these opportunities and my journey to prepare for them.  The first one will be at my church and the second one will be with Penn Foundation and Pennridge School District. I look forward to sharing more and sharing my thoughts with all of you.

            Have a wonderful weekend and remember your journey is for a reason, God has an amazing plan that will lead you to places you could never have imagined.

“Eventually all the pieces fall into place, until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason…”

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