I'm confused and you know what that's okay. I don't need to have it all figured out and I don't need to have it all together because lets be honest who really does have it all together. I find myself at a cross roads; a crossroads that could change the very path my life is on and divert me in a completely opposite direction of how I've planned it to be. I'm oddly okay with that which is probably the most mind blowing part for me. I'm okay with the diversions. I'm okay with the uncomfortable because something is oddly comfortable about the uncomfortable for me right now. This past summer I was beyond blessed to have the opportunity to work with an amazing team of people in writing and organizing a week of Christian peace education at my church. A week that was filled with so much love, unity, and community. Ever since that week my life has been changed forever. That week made me suddenly become aware of my need to learn mor...
September is suicide prevention month. A month that is near and dear to me for so many reasons. I have been on both sides of suicide. I have been on the side of being left behind and on the side of feeling my life was no longer worth living. Every year as September rolls around I find myself reflecting and rebuilding. Reflecting on the experiences that have so deeply impacting me and formed who I am and rebuilding into the person I can be; the person I was made to me. Each year a variety of organizations supporting suicide awareness, depression, anxiety, addiction, and mental health put out campaigns to provide awareness and recovery. Each year I look forward to reading the inspiring message these organizations share and the responses of those who are willing to share of themselves and their experiences with mental health. This year I have gravitated towards To Write Love on Her Arms message. The message to Stay. Find what you were made for. A message...
At moments over the last few weeks it has been hard to see the many happenings in my life in any positive light but slowly as I work through the sadness, longing, and exhaustion I am coming to see the lose of my grandfathers as a beautiful blessing. My process of grieving once again taking its own shape. I have been extremely private and on many occasions cold to others. I have had many moments of tears and an overwhelming amount of anxiety. On the night before I was to return to teaching and the students I love so dearly I found myself anxiety ridden and unable to find my center. I had my mind completely out of sorts and couldn't find my breath so I text a friend who reassured me that I would be able to returning to school not only because I was capable of working through this but also because of the support system I have from my colleagues and administration. She reminded me that one of the biggest things for me to do was let go of the fear. You may ask why...
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