I'm confused and you know what that's okay. I don't need to have it all figured out and I don't need to have it all together because lets be honest who really does have it all together. I find myself at a cross roads; a crossroads that could change the very path my life is on and divert me in a completely opposite direction of how I've planned it to be. I'm oddly okay with that which is probably the most mind blowing part for me. I'm okay with the diversions. I'm okay with the uncomfortable because something is oddly comfortable about the uncomfortable for me right now. This past summer I was beyond blessed to have the opportunity to work with an amazing team of people in writing and organizing a week of Christian peace education at my church. A week that was filled with so much love, unity, and community. Ever since that week my life has been changed forever. That week made me suddenly become aware of my need to learn mor...
At moments over the last few weeks it has been hard to see the many happenings in my life in any positive light but slowly as I work through the sadness, longing, and exhaustion I am coming to see the lose of my grandfathers as a beautiful blessing. My process of grieving once again taking its own shape. I have been extremely private and on many occasions cold to others. I have had many moments of tears and an overwhelming amount of anxiety. On the night before I was to return to teaching and the students I love so dearly I found myself anxiety ridden and unable to find my center. I had my mind completely out of sorts and couldn't find my breath so I text a friend who reassured me that I would be able to returning to school not only because I was capable of working through this but also because of the support system I have from my colleagues and administration. She reminded me that one of the biggest things for me to do was let go of the fear. You may ask why...
I have been absent from writing for the last few days, tis part of the battle with depression and anxiety. The last week or so has been difficult for me emotionally, physically, and mentally. I have been faced with many anxiety attacks and new symptoms of my never ending journey. Some of these things have been induced by outside stresses and concerns while others have been there for awhile and now at this point in the process can be addressed. Its finding balance in moving forward and pushing myself to work through the hard stuff but at the same time taking time for myself and being healthy. So as part of my being healthy part of the balance I stepped away from the blog for a few days to regroup and process. I have posted for the last few days below. Enjoy. Saturday Dec. 5- Jingle Who ever thought that Christmas music would put me of all people at ease. For many years I have struggl...
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