Breathing Hope!

Day 12- A Letter to someone you wanted to tell something to! I feel like we have become strangers! We use to be so close and be able to talk about everything together but now we can hardly even say hello to each other with out getting in a fight! I miss how things were and I want them to go back! I know I screwed it all up by quiting what we both loved but there is more that we can talk about then that. I know I have hurt you too but I don't want to be strangers anymore! I want things to go back to the days when you would give me a big hug and let me lay in your arms while we watched TV. I want things to go back to the good memories we had and the talks we had on the way to softball games. I miss our conversations and I miss how close we were. I want to be friends and I want to make sure we always get along. If you only knew how much I cared about you and how much I wish I could do something to take all the pain away! I would do anything in the world to have things go back to the ...

Day 12- How I found out about blogger and why I decided to start a blog! I found blogger through some blogs that people I know have started like my church pastor and some of my cousins. When I found blogger I wanted to start a blog but I wasn't really sure about doing it. I felt I would never update it and didn't really know what to write about. Once I thought about it I knew I had something that I could write about that would not be the topic of any ordinary blog. I decided to do this because I feel it is a way for me to share my story and the struggles that come with Alpha. I also think that this gives and insight into what it is like to have people so close to you going through such a traumatic and painful thing to people that have never had to deal with such a thing. This blog has also allowed me to share my thoughts and emotions in a different way then I normally would. Blogger is giving me the chance to spread the word about Alpha and what it is like to live with someon...

Day 11- A Picture of your Best Friend Since I will be away this weekend I have decided that I will post for the next two days awhile! My Mom and I! My best friend in the whole world is my Mom! No matter what life brings shes always the one there helping me to get through it! I can tell her everything!! She always puts me first and always is there for me!! I look up to her everyday! Love you mom! "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." ~Washington Irving

Day 10- What songs do I listen to? Today's challenge is to put down some songs that I listen to when I'm feel certain ways. Not only do I normally listen to music depending on how I feel, I also play it. For me listening and playing music is a way for me to release my stress and relax me. When I play its like I'm on a completely different planet and nothing but the music in front of me matters. Its a freeing feeling! When I'm HAPPY I listen to ... I normally will listen to just about anything when I'm happy but especially Popular Rock, and Musicals When I'm SAD I listen to ...    I generally listen to Inspirational , Vocal and Calming Music When I'm  HYPER I listen to.... I listen to music to calm me down because when I'm hyper its an interesting thing as many people who have spent time around me can tell you! When I'm MAD I listen to... I listen to calming music and music that will make me smile... it all kind of depends on the day and ...

Day 9- Write about something your Proud of! There are plenty of things that I could write about that I'm plenty proud of and I could go on and on about how great the even was or how special it was and how it still makes me proud when I think about it but instead of writing about something I'm proud of I'm going to change things up a little bit! I've decided that I'm going to write about the people that I am proud of and there are a lot! I am proud of all the people suffering with Alpha and the continuing work of all the people involved with Alpha to find a cure and promote knowledge of the disease. I can't be more proud of them! They help make a difference every day in Alpha's lives by getting one step closer to awareness and a cure! The people with Alpha continually go through struggle and pain and I am most proud of them for being hopeful and fighting to the best of their abilities! HOPE IS ALIVE!!! The people that I am proud of are always and will ...

Day Eight - Goals Setting goals is a very important part of getting through everyday life for me sometimes. I sometimes have short term goals that are created 5 minutes before whatever I want to achieve. Each day presents  new challenge and unexpected turns when someone in your family is affected by Alpha or any disease for that matter. Setting goals is an important part of making it through each day and making sure that things do get accomplished and Alpha does not hold you back. I know in recent days I personally have been letting the affect Alpha has on me and my family run my life. I let the stress and worry get to me and it truly makes me depressed and unwilling to participate in anything. I want to set a goal to not let Alpha run my life and live each day for the moment and enjoying every bit of it. Letting Alpha run your life only takes the joy out of it and prevents you from creating memories with the time that you have left with your loved one. Many of my friends have be...

Day Seven - Someone who has greatly impacted me! The Two people that have impacted me most are my parents! My parents do everything for me and are my best friends that I know will support me in whatever I do! My parents have always put me first and have tried to teach me to be the best person I can be. I love them so much!! Thanks Mom and Dad! Love you!  

Day Six- My Favorite Super Hero! My Favorite Super Hero is Batman!! I like Batman because he wants to fight crime and stop that bad people in the world!!

Somewhere I've Been! My Dad and I on the Maid of the Mist in 2004! This picture was taken at Niagara Falls in 2004. This was one of my favorite trips because I found the natural beauty of the falls to be very calming and it showed me just how amazing the world we live in really is. I loved the sound of the falls coming into our hotel room at night. The falls are truly beautiful and are one of Gods great gifts to us!

Day 4- A Habit I wish I didn't have One of the habits I wish I didn't have is stressing myself out over things that I am afraid are going to happen but don't know if or when they will. Before my Dad goes for much anticipated doctors appointments I tend to stress myself out and "prepare" myself for the worst possible thing that I think could happen. I don't look at things positively before an appointment or "prepare" for the good things but rather stress myself out over things that are only ifs and not actual reality or at least for the time being. I want to break this habit and have hope that no matter what the doctor says things will be the best they can be and give myself a chance to make the moments that I still have left with my dad be the best the can possibly be. Just because things are different doesn't mean that great memories can't be made, they just might have to be made doing something different then we did before. Each breath is ...

I can't seem to fall to sleep so many memories are in my head so I decided I'll post some of them and share some of the great moments! Below are some pictures of fond memories.... One of my favorite moments is when we use to ski as a family at Killington in Vermont. We would go skiing all the time since I can remember. Skiing was a sense of freedom for all of us , it was just us and nature. My parents taught me how to ski and I remember clear as day when I was 4 my dad and mom taking me to the top of Killington peak and my dad showing me everything in sight once we got there. I miss the moments when he tries to explain everything to me and teach me things... he always has such a way of being so encouraging and gentle when he was trying to teach me or show me something. Dad and I at the statue of Liberty when I was 4 years old! I remember that day being one of the most beautiful days ever! The sky was so blue and it was just right not to hot and not to cold! ...

Day 3- A Picture of you and your friends!  I have so many friends that i could post up here, but these are the people who are with me through everything, listen to everything i have to say all the time and are there for me no matter what! I love you guys and I couldn't do all this with out you all! Love you guys so more then I can express in words!  Me and Laura! Laura's been with me since before we found out my dad had alpha and continually is there to help me through every thing! Love you girl! Me and Kirsten! Kirsten an I met when we were the 2 pitchers on my softball team, although we don't play together anymore we still talk alot and see eachother! She's always willing to help me feel better and always puts a smile on my face!  Love you Girl! I couldn't find a good picture of me, Jenn, and Katina together so i put one up of Jenn and Katina together! These two answer my text messages no matter what time of day it is and alway make sure I...

Day 2- The Meaning behind my Blogger name! I know I probably wouldn't get on tomorrow so here is tomorrows post a little bit early! The meaning behind my blogger name is pretty obvious I believe. It talks about my life and how living with people affected by alpha-1 affects my life! I have also found this to be a way for me to release my stress about the sometimes very stressful situations that our brought on by Alpha-1. So this blog is for all the people in the world that have to deal with Alpha by living with it or living with someone who has it! I hope that my Journey can prevent people and families from having to go through this!

This is a Recent Picture of me! Here are my 15 facts! 1. My Dad and other extended family members suffer from Alpha-1 2. Prior to us finding out my Dad had Alpha we had never heard of the disease before 3. My Dad is one of my Hero's.... He suffers through so much and still manages to make it to every softball game I ever play and is always there to cheer me on! 4. I use to play softball and my dad and I loved the moments we had in the car together driving far away to play in a Tourney... I think those moments are some of the best I can remember 5. We have a dog that we adore even when he's being bad! 6. My favorite quote is "Every Breath is a Chance to Create a Memory" and I firmly believe that! 7. One of my goals in life is to help other families to never have to go through what my family is with this horrible disease and to find a cure for Alpha! 8. I am just like my parents... I act like them in every way and people aren't shy about telling me that I a...

I've been seeing this 30 day challange all over facebook and Blogger so I decided it was time to do it! I am going to use my life and how im dealing with the impacts of alpha-1 as a guide! Hope all enjoy. - Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself •Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name •Day 03- A picture of you and your friends •Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have •Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been •Day 06- Favorite super hero and why •Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you •Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why •Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days •Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad •Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends •Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one •Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently •Day 14- A picture of you and your family •Day 15- ...