Breathing Hope!

Twas the night before Student Teaching And as I prepare I am excited yet a little bit scared. I toss and I turn all over my bed while visions of teaching   dance in my head. Lessons, IEP’s, and resources galore Are stuffed in my bag and set by the door. My outfit is hung in the closet with care Knowing that my first day Soon will be here. Happy first day of school and student teaching to all of my peers!I look forward to taking this journey with all of you over the next 16 weeks. I am sure we will have many learning experiences and adventures to share, I wish all of you the best of luck with each step of this rewarding yet challenging process. I will update all of my readers on some of the happenings over the next 16 weeks as time allows. I look forward to the challenges that are headed my way and the chance to learn so much from amazing mentors. Here's to an adventure filled with love, heart, and a bit of cra...

It has been a busy busy month or so for me, part of the reason for my lack in posting. It started out with vacation bible school at my church. This year I took on a larger role running vacation bible school at my church. This was the first time since the onset of my depression that I had taken on a big project that involved many people and at times many stressful situations. I have been shying away from them for the last four years in fear of failing or falling apart. But I decided back in January that it was time I break out of my scared shell and took this on. I had an amazing time leading the team that I was working with and an even better time working with the kids that walked through the door every morning the week of. I realized in the moments of our worship celebration during church on Sunday morning that I am doing exactly what I was meant to do. Teach kids, love kids, and do my very best to give them everything I've got. It was an amazingly rewarding experience and ...

                           This week was interesting to say the least, working long hours, preparing for vacation bible school at my church, preparing for vacation, and preparing for one of the most important semesters of my college career. While this week didn't go exactly as I had planned I found joy in all the simple things that happened this week. Among the unexpected came beautiful and peaceful moments that were filled with love and joy. Each of these moments helped me to continue to power through my long and times never ending week. Each time I thought I was going to throw in the towel for the day and try again tomorrow something would happen to keep me going. Below you will find a list of just 20 of these simple moments although there were many more. Think about the simple things that happen in your life each day. Take the moment to notice, be present, and enjoy them.  Waking up to singing bird...

Tonight I write to you wrapped in a blanket, with a cup of tea in my hand.   I am slightly messy and unsure of my next steps in my journey of healing, but I can always find comfort in a cup of tea and my LVC throw blanket hugging me. The last week or so has been a difficult time for me.   The uncomfortable and unsettled feeling of where I am currently at emotionally has torn me down a little bit. I have been faced with a lot of anxiety this past week. Anxiety that I thought I had faced head on and worked through but I am finding out that while I have worked through it before that doesn’t mean it will never return. This week I have been faced with flashbacks from some unpleasant events in my life that have contributed to the many struggled I have and continue to face.   I know some day these horrible memories will fade and be a small piece of the bigger story but now they still feel very large and very real. While this is a difficult thing to face I know that with Go...

          Last week I took time away from the blog and sharing to reflect and self evaluate. I spent that week continuing to work on overcoming the many struggles that facing depression and anxiety disorders comes with but something was different about it. Through the struggles and roller coaster of emotions I found myself able to regulate and find inner piece amongst all of the crazy. I was able to find ways, through the many strategies and coping skills I have learned over the years to keep myself going and to overcome the feelings of anxiety before they struck and took me full force into a place that I feel helpless in.        As I began to notice that I was able to handle these feelings I was reflecting on what had changed and after some thought I knew exactly what it was, something I have been working for the past two years, Acceptance. Acceptance of my story, the events that have happened in my life, and most importantly acceptance o...

                         Okay here we go.....  I  really have no idea where to begin or what to say to all of my readers this week besides this: I am overwhelmed!! Extremely overwhelmed. It is a good and positive overwhelmed but there is definitely a feeling of not sure where all of this is going right now. I never expected the response that I got after my post about my story with depression and anxiety last week. I expected the general 50 or 60 people to read it and not much to come of it…. Boy was I wrong!! Over 200 people have read the post and I have gotten responses from a great many of those people. I was sitting at work the day I posted it and left work later then usual. When I looked at my phone it had blown up with notifications. I had text messages, missed calls, voicemails, Facebook responses, emails, you name it there was at least one notification from each social media account on my ph...