My Semicolon

I support world semicolon day because I am one of the 15 million who struggle with a panic disorder and one of the 100 million who live with depression. I support world semicolon day because the semicolon project gave and continues to give me hope for all of us who struggle. Project semicolon's many social media outlets have allowed me to see and share the experiences that come with depression and anxiety. It reminds me that none of us who fall into this group of millions of people are alone, even in the darkest moments. 

The first time I wore a semicolon was 3 years ago when I shared my story for the first time. I received a bracelet from a dear friend right before I publicly shared my experience for the first time in person. I still wear the bracelet often and it is a constant reminder that I am strong and I will make it through what ever depression and panic attacks can throw at me. For so many years I have endured intense panic attacks that are often triggered by environmental factors. These panic attacks are crippling and often stop me in my tracks. Panic attacks keep me silent and paralyzed. It has taken me many years to begin to take my life over after living in the shadows of my anxiety and panic. For me panic attacks are a very real and every day experience that has been triggered from past events in my life. Sometimes I handle them "beautifully" and no one would know that I even was feeling panic inside, but other times they are rather apparent as I recede from the world into my shell. In college as I endured some of the most intense panic attacks I found myself relying more and more on knowing and hearing other peoples experiences and stories. It made me feel less isolated when I had these times of internal, and sometime exterior terror. When I began to share my story, I began to take back my power and my life. The semicolon symbolizes so much for me. Because I am the author of my own story and I decided to put a semi colon instead of a period and keep going because my story isn't over yet. 

As I write this I reflect on where I am at in life. A place I never would have imagined myself being when I decided to place the semicolon in my sentence of life. The only word I can think of as I reflect today is grateful. So incredibly grateful to have had a support system to help me place that semicolon;  a support system that helped me to share my story. The semicolon in my life has allowed me to share my story, to become the teacher I have always dreamt of being, to share ways of peacemaking and equip children to be peace builders, to be creative and imaginative, the daughter and friend I wanted to be, and to share time with the people whom I love most. Each morning as I wake up I reminded why I choose the semicolon instead of the period in my life's sentence, because my story isn't over yet and I am the author of my life. Be grateful, shine, and share yourself with the world because you have so many beautiful things to share. Be the author of your story. 

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