Seasons of Change
Ahh... a moment to relax and write. Since I last wrote over a month ago a lot is changing in my already ever changing life. There is so much to update on that I decided I would explore a lot of the things that have happened in the last month through the pictures I have taken and the moments I have experienced. In the next 4 months I will be graduating from Lebanon Valley, moving, watching one of my best friends move across the country, hopefully getting a job, and starting my own classroom in August. A lot is happening but in the grand scheme of things they are all amazing opportunity to grow and experience life in new ways.
Lebanon Valley College began its 150th year celebration on Founder's day at the end of February. To celebrate they had cupcakes and other goodies that displayed the 150th logo. In under 6 weeks I will be graduating in the 150th year of this amazing colleges existence. As I have shared many times before I have grown greatly in my time here and will forever be grateful for the new life that was created here in my 4 years. I have met people who have changed the course of my life, experienced new and exciting things through learning and sharing, and have grown to love myself for who I am in a way I never imagined possible. I am sad to leave this place that forever will have a piece of my heart but I am excited for the possibilities that are coming. For now I will take in each moment until May 14th and savor each chance to make a new memory.
One of the first nice days that we had weather wise here in Annville was in February. On that day I took a walk across campus to get outside and enjoy the sunshine that we finally were seeing and the warm temperatures that only required a t-shirt. As I walked with no specific destination in mind I took in each sight of campus knowing I have only a few more walks across campus as a student. As I walked I came across many of my favorite spots, often filled with memories and experiences I will never forget. I finally got out to the soccer fields which for anyone who doesn't know LVC's campus is just about at the edge of campus. As I crossed the little walking bridge I saw the stream that was still carrying all of the melt off from the large snow storm back in January. There was a beautiful sound of water running and birds chirping as I stood there in solitude. It was so refreshing, even if only for the 10 minutes I stood there. Spring always is a positive time for me. As a highly seasonally effected person I find spring to be the new life after a few months of often fighting off depression and anxiety. This year was particularly difficult because of many other factors and repressed memories I was working through in the winter months but now that the sun is shining and I can spend time outside without feeling like a frostbitten Popsicle I find my moods much more stable and any bad day leads me to spend more time outside.
As I said above another huge change for me is moving from the house that I have lived in my entire life. In just a few months we will be moving to a new home in a town over from where I currently live. While I am super excited to be moving into a home that is better suited for my families current and future needs there is a sadness that falls over me as we continue to pack boxes each time I am home. It is the place where so many memories have been created and where I have found comfort in some of the worst moments I have experienced in my short 22 years. When I arrived home for Easter break I found this flower blooming in one of our flower beds, flowers that have bloomed there each March and April since I can remember. I couldn't help but take a picture because of the beauty that I saw in these flowers. It is a reminder that while we may be physically moving the important pieces are going with us. The memories, love, warmth, and family that has always been there will follow us to create a new home.
I have been
meaning to post this picture for a week or so at this point but I couldn’t find the words
until today to fully express the emotions and overwhelming experiences of my
journey, which truly will never be able to be expressed in words alone.
One of those people that has been a part of the last 4 out of those 5 years of my sometimes uphill battle I have been spending a lot of time with over the last few weeks. As we prepare to graduate and move a great distance from each other we have been spending time together and just enjoying each others presence whether it be a highly active thing or just sitting on the couch talking and sharing with each other it has continued to remind me that I am surrounded by amazing people. Her and I have been through so much together and continue to experience life in our own ways and share with each other the joys, pains, and excitements in our lives. I am so grateful for this friendship and many of the friendships I have created over the years. I am blessed with people who support me, love me, and push me to be the best person I can be in each moment of each day. Whether it be this friend or any of my others I am one of the luckiest people alive, surrounded by some of the best people God could have placed into my life. A side note I choose this picture because she had told me over Easter break that she had made cream puff cake for her families holiday meal. When I returned to school last night guess who had 2 pieces of cream puff cake in the fridge to share with each others, so last night we both had a piece of cream puff cake as we shared with each other updates from our 4 days apart during break.
Well that is all for now but I am sure over the next few months there will be plenty to share about the new happenings in my life. Have a wonderful week, enjoy the spring and be present in each moment of your life.
Lebanon Valley College began its 150th year celebration on Founder's day at the end of February. To celebrate they had cupcakes and other goodies that displayed the 150th logo. In under 6 weeks I will be graduating in the 150th year of this amazing colleges existence. As I have shared many times before I have grown greatly in my time here and will forever be grateful for the new life that was created here in my 4 years. I have met people who have changed the course of my life, experienced new and exciting things through learning and sharing, and have grown to love myself for who I am in a way I never imagined possible. I am sad to leave this place that forever will have a piece of my heart but I am excited for the possibilities that are coming. For now I will take in each moment until May 14th and savor each chance to make a new memory.
One of the first nice days that we had weather wise here in Annville was in February. On that day I took a walk across campus to get outside and enjoy the sunshine that we finally were seeing and the warm temperatures that only required a t-shirt. As I walked with no specific destination in mind I took in each sight of campus knowing I have only a few more walks across campus as a student. As I walked I came across many of my favorite spots, often filled with memories and experiences I will never forget. I finally got out to the soccer fields which for anyone who doesn't know LVC's campus is just about at the edge of campus. As I crossed the little walking bridge I saw the stream that was still carrying all of the melt off from the large snow storm back in January. There was a beautiful sound of water running and birds chirping as I stood there in solitude. It was so refreshing, even if only for the 10 minutes I stood there. Spring always is a positive time for me. As a highly seasonally effected person I find spring to be the new life after a few months of often fighting off depression and anxiety. This year was particularly difficult because of many other factors and repressed memories I was working through in the winter months but now that the sun is shining and I can spend time outside without feeling like a frostbitten Popsicle I find my moods much more stable and any bad day leads me to spend more time outside. 
As I said above another huge change for me is moving from the house that I have lived in my entire life. In just a few months we will be moving to a new home in a town over from where I currently live. While I am super excited to be moving into a home that is better suited for my families current and future needs there is a sadness that falls over me as we continue to pack boxes each time I am home. It is the place where so many memories have been created and where I have found comfort in some of the worst moments I have experienced in my short 22 years. When I arrived home for Easter break I found this flower blooming in one of our flower beds, flowers that have bloomed there each March and April since I can remember. I couldn't help but take a picture because of the beauty that I saw in these flowers. It is a reminder that while we may be physically moving the important pieces are going with us. The memories, love, warmth, and family that has always been there will follow us to create a new home.
I have been
meaning to post this picture for a week or so at this point but I couldn’t find the words
until today to fully express the emotions and overwhelming experiences of my
journey, which truly will never be able to be expressed in words alone.
5 years ago
this journey started and little did I know the work began. Looking back at this
over the last week and realizing how this journey has changed my life forever
and continues to I found myself overwhelmed with emotions from every direction.
This past Friday it had been exactly 5 years since things really got bad at a
jazz band competition at my high school with my friends surrounding me and
shortly following, my family. This year on the anniversary or as I now like to
call it ‘the awakening’ of my journey I found myself walking across my beloved
college campus amongst beautifully blooming cherry trees. As I was walking I
was reflecting on the fact that in less than 60 days I will take one last walk
through the cherry trees as an undergraduate and student at LVC. I stopped for
a moment when I got close to the trees, the sky was a deep blue with cotton
candy clouds, the kind you see in a Pixar movie, and I took a picture. As my
phone captured the picture one lone tear dropped out of my eye. Without acknowledging
the tear too much I continued walking. When I reached my car a few moments
later I got in and as I sat down the river of tears began. I let myself cry until I couldn’t anymore,
when I was finished I wiped the tears away and continued with my day as if the
tears hadn’t happened.
It
wasn’t until later that afternoon that I took time to acknowledge all of the
emotions that were tied to the tears. I
pulled up the picture on my phone that I had taken just hours before. As I
looked at the picture a flash of peace fell over me. 5 years ago I was fighting
to wake up in the morning and live another day with any kind of purpose but now that is further from the truth. I have found purpose, meaning, and continuous love in my life. I am excited to see what life brings and even on bad days I find myself picking myself up and brushing myself off so I can continue on with the day and be the person I really am. As I looked at the newly blooming tree that sparked the tears I remembered exactly why I kept fighting 5 years ago when giving up seemed so much easier. The beauty that surrounds me continues to amaze me with each moment I am blessed beyond words with opportunity, people, and experiences that will forever be a part of me.
One of those people that has been a part of the last 4 out of those 5 years of my sometimes uphill battle I have been spending a lot of time with over the last few weeks. As we prepare to graduate and move a great distance from each other we have been spending time together and just enjoying each others presence whether it be a highly active thing or just sitting on the couch talking and sharing with each other it has continued to remind me that I am surrounded by amazing people. Her and I have been through so much together and continue to experience life in our own ways and share with each other the joys, pains, and excitements in our lives. I am so grateful for this friendship and many of the friendships I have created over the years. I am blessed with people who support me, love me, and push me to be the best person I can be in each moment of each day. Whether it be this friend or any of my others I am one of the luckiest people alive, surrounded by some of the best people God could have placed into my life. A side note I choose this picture because she had told me over Easter break that she had made cream puff cake for her families holiday meal. When I returned to school last night guess who had 2 pieces of cream puff cake in the fridge to share with each others, so last night we both had a piece of cream puff cake as we shared with each other updates from our 4 days apart during break.
Well that is all for now but I am sure over the next few months there will be plenty to share about the new happenings in my life. Have a wonderful week, enjoy the spring and be present in each moment of your life.
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