Seeing the Changes

             51 days ago I posted about my first year in college. I talked about the amazing experiences and people that I met in the first fourth of my college experience. When I wrote that post I was focused on how it was such a sad moment that my first year was over and about how much I couldn't wait to return to my new home, Lebanon Valley College. In 47 days I do what 51 days ago I couldn't and still can't wait to do, return to a place I love. A place I get to experience things beyond what I ever thought I would or could experinace and spend time with people that lift me up and help me to be a better person. 51 days into my time away from LVC I have started to realize how much I have changed in my first year there. Everything about me has changed, yes I am still the same Amanda but there  is a difference in my perspective, thoughts, and actions. As most of you know who read my blog my high school years weren't exactly picture perfect or as I had ever planned them out in my mind. There were moments I wasn't sure I would be sitting where I am in my life. My first year changed me, drastically and broke me away from some of the things that I was still stuck on from high school. I have started to find happiness and move on from the past. I have become more simplistic in my life, not worrying as much about what people think of me and just being who I am. Something that I definitely didn't do in high school or before I left for college. College has allowed me to 'start over' and be who I really am instead of slapping a fake smile on my face. I can be crazy, creative, and out of the box and the people I am surrounded with love me for those things, not for the fake parts I use to be. It has helped me to find peace within myself. I have realized how much each moment means to me and how incredible each moment can be in my life, especially when I am not worried about what every one else might think about me. It has taken me time and getting back into a routine here at home to realize how much  I have changed and how everything is different then it was when I left in August. I can't stay angry for to long at my parents anymore and I find myself to be in  a much better place in my life. One filled with a new perspective. A new perspective that helps me to cope with what is going on around me. It helps me to enjoy the moments I have instead of dreading certain ones. I still find it hard to cope with the emotions that I experience in dealing with chronic illness in my family but it is a different kind of difficult. It is different then any of the emotions I have experienced before. There is a sense of comfort behind each fear, tear, and new obstacle.
           Over the last 51 days I have done a lot of different things. I have had a recital, performed in one of my close friends recitals, watch a lot of my friends in the Pennridge class of 2013 graduate, prepare for my churches vacation bible school, go to the beach with some of my close friends, and deal with the continuing struggles my family faces with Alpha-1. So far I can not complain about my summer. It has been filled with great moments and of course some not so great moments that bought about new challenges. Each day is a gift, days that can bring about so many possibilities. In 47 days I will be returning to my home away from home for another year of changes, experiences, and adventures but until then I will have many adventures and beautiful moments here. The possibilities are endless.